Adoption Conversation Cards

These cards are not meant to be a deck you shuffle through and then use to corner your kiddo in the most awkward conversation of all time. The goal is natural communication, emphasis on natural. Our kids are much more likely to share their heart when it doesn't feel forced or faked but so often us parent’s struggle to bring up conversations that feel uncomfortable and that discomfort leads to avoidance and before we even realize it, we’ve created this space around adoption that our kids assume is untouchable. I don’t have legitimate numbers but of the hundreds, if not thousands of adoptees I’ve had the honor of speaking to, myself included, this area of intentional avoidance is what we NEED to avoid. Children that feel safe asking questions about their stories tend to process them better as they grow. But please remember, while being intentional try not to be excessive either. Hyperfocusing on adoption can be just as detrimental as never talking about it. So...if this isn’t a deck for you to read through at the dinner table, how should you use them? Great question, I’ll give some ideas.

• Read through them until they feel comfortable coming out of your mouth and when the timing is right, pull from the questions and comments you’ve retained.
• Read through them and make two piles: “questions and conversations that I’m comfortable with” and “questions and conversations I’m UNcomfortable with”. Afterwards, make an intentional effort to weave the comfortable prompts into conversations throughout the week, month, or year but sit with the UNcomfortable questions for a bit. Do some ‘heartwork’ to discover why they feel uncomfortable and make an intentional effort to move through that discomfort so that you can create a safe space for your child.
• If you have a spouse, read through them together. Discuss different ways you can integrate these conversations and questions into everyday life without seeming rehearsed or awkward. Discuss past scenarios to better prepare for future ones. (example: Remember when Elizabeth said that her eyes were brown but ours are blue? The next time we could respond with, “Jo, your birthmom has beautiful brown eyes just like you.”)

*Ultimately, no one knows your child better than you. Contact isn't always in the best interest of the child but honesty is and honesty deepens trust. If you are not allowing fear or jealousy to cloud your judgment, you can be a safe space for your child as they process their big feelings.

I have decided to make this set of cards affordable for anyone...and what is more affordable than FREE! The listing is donation based so whether you are grateful to have this resource during a season that you're stretched too thin or you are in a season of abundance and happy to kick in a little financial support...thank you...I'm so glad you're here!